Friday, February 19, 2010

My latest news

Thanks for encouraging me my dears! My beloved first wisdom tooth now hurts as much as I can sleep and study. الحمد لله! Pus was accumulating between the gum and the tooth, but it has already been taken out and a kind of medicine was infused into it yesterday. In addition, I'm taking medicine, which makes me so sleepy that I failed to keep awake last night and fell asleep in the arms of Morpheus. (But today's-just-finished exam was luckily not hard that much. Seems that I am not bad at making ad hoc efforts) I have not had any meal since yesterday, but this is what 断食 (fasting in Japanese) means and somehow it enables us to feel refreshing. Well, I started to wonder what I can eat for lunch now after one day's 'abstinence'. Jellylike nutritional tonic would be welcomed even in my present mouth.

Yahoo, my 14 supposed-to-be-recorded-at-Guinness exams (52 credits in total, amazing) seem to be over just around the corner (next Tuesday). I have given up taking two of them (hope this decision won't be a mistake), so if I can pass all of them I took and I will take next Monday and Tuesday, I will get 44 credits in the end. Now I have 32 credits (only!) at the Faculty of Law, the total credit would be 81 this year, adding 5 credits from the Faculty of Literature, and I will only have to take 3 compulsory subjects (10 credits) next semester. (The amount of credits we, the law students, have to take is 90. If I add the credits I have taken at College (at fresh and sophomore) it will be 180 in total. C.f. we are given 2 credits for a lecture of 100 minutes per week for a course of 16 weeks.) Then, if this counting my chickens before hatched is revealed to be correct in the end, I can graduate next September, according to one of my friend. (I am not sure, because it means I stay in this university only for 3.5 years. I will ask the administration.) Even if I could not, it means I will have a lot of free time to do something that I can do only when I am a student!

Thank you guys for cheering me up. Seems I will manage to overcome this period, only having a 'nice' (!) trouble with my tooth, not having caught a cold at all and (this is what is important) not taking a turn for the worse of my skin. I am always the most blessed one in the world. I am thankful to everything. Hope you guys also do well. (May every athlete at Vancouver do too! I am encouraged by their good job. Do not miss figure skating today and on 23rd!) May God bless all of you.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Wisdom Tooth

I started to suffer from a terrible pain of a wisdom tooth suddenly yesterday. Busy as I was because of a pile of exams, I managed to make time to see a dentist, who was ranked No.1 around Hongo (on the Internet evaluation), where my university is located. I have found it rooted at the most difficult place in mouth, and it seemed that I would have to 'bear this unbearable pain' at this hectic moment for the coming next several days with quite 'nice' exams. Why do I have to get sick , not a usual cold, terribly like this every time I have exams, even though I do not study that much? I have an appointment tomorrow too. Gosh, does the God want me to realize the importance of health so frequently like this? Please, it is enough. Does not He know that I am always relieved to see myself in a mirror every morning recently and thank (from the bottom of my heart) everything in this world for giving me again 'today', another day to live? Anyway, I am still alive very well. I am! I am grateful to Him for this. If I have to choose a certain pain from this one or that one, I will definitely take this one, a wisdom tooth. I am blessed so much. I am taking an operation asap. Thanks for reading. I have got positive. Please do not worry about me! I will be glad to report how the things go, for those who have not experienced the wisdom tooth operation!

Monday, February 15, 2010

不自由だからこそ人生はもっと輝く

傷つけられるより、傷つけるほうが、結局自分がもっと傷つく。ありきたりだけど、死刑は取り返しがつかないのと一緒で、取り返しのつかないことのほうが人生には多いのかも知れない。そもそも、時間がこうやって取り返しがつかないように流れていっている。恐ろしい。ごめんなさいと言っても、もうどうにもならない。己の至らなさ、あくどさに泣いても遅い。

タイトル:某公共放送の説明会で医療福祉モノのVTR(「プロフェッショナル仕事の流儀」の一部)を流されて、暗闇で号泣。よくあるフレーズでもある。そんなの負け惜しみじゃないかとか、慰めだろうと思えるときもあったけど、まさしく、己の人生を逃げずに慌てずに達観しているわけでもないけど、がしっと向き合って生きている人の顔が本当に美しかった。味のある、深みのある顔に最終的になっていくような、心の持ちようで。そういう人生の先達に直に会ったら多少人生観も変わってくるのかも知れない。

OB訪問や就職活動の過程等で「目指したい人」に出会えてしまえる人って、ハードルが低いのか、それとも感性が広く豊かなのか、俗に言うアンテナが高いってことなのか、そもそも出会う人数母体が違うのか。

ああ、早く試験よ終わってくれ。

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

もう天職人でいいです。

「ピューリタンは天職人たらんと欲した。われわれは天職人たらざるをえない。」という最低限のスタートラインには立てた気がする今日この頃。ただ、己がどこから呼ばれていると思い込むか、思い込みがある種の成り行きやら運の類であるとして、ある程度の条件が確保されていれば、どこでも楽しく労働できそうだと最近は思っている。私から搾取するものなどない?困ったな。

Thursday, February 4, 2010

どうにかこうにか一歩一歩

この頼りなさ所在なさが愛らしく誇らしい。