I am totally at a loss. Although I have done nothing enough to be lost, I would like someone or something to lead me automatically to the place at which I can do something not that bad. If I could see myself working somewhere after 1.5 years now, I would be able to be released from this kind of feeling.
I do not know why not a few of people are able to do their best, positively, cheerfully and confidently. I would rather like to stay at the corner of room and turn over the leaves...Please give me a job that even I can do!
Is not there anyone other than me, who thinks that Ms.Katsuma's smile seems to be somewhat awkward??---Hmm.
9 comments:
Hmm who is Ms. Katsuma, may you please inform us, the non-Japanese readers (:
Also, I think its a natural result of being "at the end of the educational period" of the life. Since there'd be no more school life, even for those who are planning to continue on their academical careers, it is hard to motivate.
But I am sure that you'd get rid of this "staying at the corner" feeling soon.. I wrote it here, well, if I ever to see you again, I'd tell it to your face too: "See? I told you before"
-same same same all same
Ah, it is better not to know her, haha. She is an economist.
Thanks. Really.
I have been depressed to think that I am not deserved or qualified to work in a society. I wish I had a courage to decide what I want to do. I wish I had an ability to make a judge if I am really deserved to do that job that I now want to do.
In shaa allah, I will definitely visit you in the spring of 2011. That would be my last chance to make a trip to outside of Japan. And I would love you to say that, haha.
You've got another mail :P
I've seen so many people who really do not deserve to work in a society or anywhere else.. So.. since no one is perfect these days and since it is impossible to avoid problems while working with others.. you are well qualified. You just need to ignore the incompatiblities, try to solve problems and while doing that, never let others abuse your 'good-side'.. So, a little dark-side is also, could be useful. Did not you tell me that they call you 'evil' in Syria? So why is that depression?
Im sure I'll :)
-booo
i am sure that every thing will be ok. keep trying with some pateince and don't give up
logically, you have to expect every thing and to get ready for all probabilities.
always remember that you are choosing this step, because you believe in it.
you are in the middle of a war which you wanted it, and you have two choices: 1st to fight for achieving your purposes and to face life with strong will,2nd to return calmly and wait for another chance.
yes, this is a Theoretical speech,but you can think it out using a white paper and simple pen determining your goals and choices, making a simple plan.
keep trying and change your plan according to your needs.
you can review your plan any time you feel in loss.
if you have the will, you have the way.
Good Luck Evil!!
That was not me
- Kerim
>>Kerim,
Thanks so much for cheers.
I don't know why English itself usually leads us to a positive thinking, like, you can do it! Arabic also does, as long as I think. Japanese and French, however, have a sympathy with depressions, as I see, haha.
Hm, actually there are perfect persons, sadly, but I have to keep it in my mind that I don't have to be like them and I can't even if I want to. My life is my life. Time is going on, anyway.
Let me tell you in this place that you're...really funny, really, giving me a laugh and a little hope. Thanks. Your handwriting and note taking seem wonderful, at least, I can't do like that (kind of chaos) You seem to be holding YOUR daughter, so cute. And your grandma is. They show me what a life is just by one photo.
I'm impressed that I have already known almost all the words you listed! Turkish is really calling me.
>>(maybe, Mehdi?)
How are you? I also really hope that everything goes well for you.
Btw, (if you are really Mehdi) I'm sorry that I didn't realize at your last comment (it was in Arabic), and finally when I was re-organizing my blog, I found it. I will make a reply to it in days.
I really appreciate your comment. Thanks a lot. I don't know even if I have a will or not, but maybe I have one somewhere. I was sure that I have got what I want to do, but now I don't know. Whatever, things go to somewhere. Wherever it takes me, that's my life and all I have to do is...to do things in front of me now and to throw away the illusion that I might be special, haha.
Give me your name, if it is wrong.
@Mika
Ah, I'd be happy to if I really could manage to make you smile a little bit.
Well, you are right. It is meaningless to compete with others. We (humanbeings) are not fabricated.. There are billions of us today on this planet, and all those billions have different characteristics, way of thinking, physical specialities, mind and memory capacity..
"So why should I try to catch a Ferrari while I am just a mere Opel?" This was what I thought in my hard times. If I were a car, I would not be the best brand. What matters is, using my capacity to its limits.. or close to that point.
That way, if I could speed with %80 capacity, others' quality would not matter anymore.. Because, as you also know, most of 'Ferrari' and 'Jaguar' etc humans do not use their capacity and got wasted (unfortunately.. I dont feel sad for them -they deserve it, they ruin their life- but for the world.. what a great loss for the society..)
Oh I made it more complex.. Should stop here. I hope you got what I meant :)
Haha its just I like kids. Playing with them and making them laughing is lots of fun for me. But probably rasing a kid is one of the hardest duties in this life.. So, my side is the best one. So maybe.. there would not be MY kid in the future.. Maybe even no family would be there -in the future- for meh. Anyway who knows blablabla But kids are always fun, they are full of hope and are so pure.
- The other commenter (non-Mehdi one)
@Mr. or Ms. Unknown Commenter
Lets have a conversation here between us the readers, without the owner of this blog haha.. What I want to say is, that "pen-paper-ideals" did never work for me. I tried a few times but they only stayed on paper.. it makes the life similar to boring computer-coding.. It may work for some people, coding their life. However around me, the most successful people are the ones who did the coding on their minds and hearts. They were so ready, their soul was the paper that they wrote their plans and future ideals.
Oh how I wish.. to be like them :)
- Kerim
To Mikasan
Hi Mika ...
I am Alaa.
I am really sorry that i forgot writing my name, because somewhat i was writing in a hurry and had no time to review.yesterday at night, i realized my fault, but i was talking to Faris, so i decided to comment next day -today-, because i was tired and sleepy.
Anyway, everybody has a depression period(s) in his/her life, Although if if he/she were not him/herself, there wouldn't be any need to such feeling. sometimes we feel in depression after a success we had achieved, or when we are heading to a new stage of our life with feeling of a lack of something we don't even know or we know it but not sure. so many reasons, but the most bad reason -for me- when i have a reason, but i can't tell anyone. in this case, all what i can do is to study my problem by myself and to be the patient and the doctor in the same time.
once again, i am sorry. i've mentioned it at the beginning because i am afraid of forgetting it again, then seriously i will think of going to the doctor^^
To Mr.Kerim
in some cases of lack of focus or depresion,i find it a good way to recharge my power and collect my ideas at least for a while. for example in examination period i use this way. not to write a study plan, but to show my life for the next five years, then i get the motivation to study. i don't use this way in every examination period, because that depends on my status and how i feel.
of course, successful person must know exactly what he wants, but in the situation of emergency we have to innovate a manner which makes us go on.
Alaa
Alaa
Alaa
now i am sure that i didn't forget.
>>Ala'a san
Ah, so so sorry I am! I should have recognized that the comment from you, Ala'a san!! Plz forgive me, just cuz I didn't expect that you'd post a comment in English, hahaha, and the way of writing was whose Arabs, so I was wondering he is Mehdi, my Morrocan friend, who writes me sometimes in English, French, Arabic or Japanese.
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